Dealing with Discord - Philippians 4:2-9
I recently heard a story about two old women sitting in a pew arguing over who was more devoted to their faith. The first lady said, “I bet you five dollars you don’t know the Lord’s Prayer.” The other lady says, “I do too. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep!” The first lady said back: “Are you serious? You weren’t lying, here’s your five dollars!”
Arguments, conflict, and debates within the church are like pads in football or sugar in cake. You expect it. A church that doesn’t have controversy is about as fun as eating a cake without sugar! No, I’m just kidding!
But it is something that you anticipate. Disagreements, arguments, controversy, are a sad reality of the church. Our fallen sin nature certainly has an impact on our relationships within the church.
And obviously our passage begins with Paul addressing a disagreement between two women; Euodia and Syntyche. But before we dive headlong into the disagreement between Euodia and Syntyche we need to understand something: not all disagreements, conflicts, arguments, and debates within the church are created equal.
There’s also a difference between a petty argument between two people and an individual who is argumentative or quarrelsome. A person who is always looking to pick a fight. Paul says in Titus 3:10-11, “As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.”
There’s a difference between a person who promotes false teaching, an individual with a combative spirit, and two people who have a personal disagreement.
And it’s our responsibility within the church to distinguish between the things that are worth fighting for and the things that you have to let go. Some controversies may require church discipline and others may require a conversation.
An argument over the color of the carpet is different from an argument over the deity of Christ! There’s a difference between someone promoting false doctrine and a petty disagreement.
You have to know when it’s appropriate to pick up the sword and fight and when to lay it down.
Not that long ago I heard someone say that Presbyterians are like dry wood because they split easily. There might be some truth there, but we often assume that arguments and fights within the church are worse or more frequent today than they were in the early church, but our passage really settles that question doesn’t it?
Because in this particular portion of Scripture Paul directly addresses a conflict between two ladies in the church in Philippi: Euodia and Syntyche.
One of the more interesting things about our passage is that we don’t know the nature of their conflict. Paul doesn’t mention it! However, I think we can make an important assumption about it: whatever it was, it was relatively petty personal disagreement.
So what Paul teaches us here in Philippians 4:2-9 is not how to deal with false teaching, but rather, how to deal with the petty, insignificant, disagreements that inevitably arise within the church. But he doesn’t stop there. He goes on to give life advice for promoting the peace and purity of the church.
Paul gives us three directives in this passage: The first remedy for handling a petty disagreement in the church is to seek unity in the Lord (vv. 2-3), second, we should pursue joy and gentleness in our interactions with one another (vv. 4-5), and lastly, we should focus on the true, lovely, and excellent (vv. 6-9).
Seek unity in the Lord (vv. 2-3)
If you were to jump on the internet and look up conflict resolution tips, you’ll run across millions of articles with all sorts of opinions. One opinion that I read said that you should “...seek out areas of potential conflict and proactively interven[e] in a just and decisive fashion [which] will likely prevent certain conflicts from ever arising.”
In other words, seek out potential points of conflict and start a pre-emptive argument! Why wait for the fight to come to you? Go ahead and start it now! What wonderful advice, right? But Paul makes it abundantly clear that these are two Christian women, and so, he does not appeal to worldly conflict resolution advice.
In fact, Paul says they “have labored side by side with [him] in the gospel” and that their “names are in the book of life.”
Many scholars think that the word translated for “true companions,” which is Syzygus, is a proper noun - it’s an individual’s name. Which would mean that Paul recruited individuals within the church in Philippi to step in and help resolve the disagreement between Euodia and Syntyche. It takes a village sometimes, doesn’t it?
But of course, the big thing that Paul appeals to in order for them to resolve their differences is their common faith in Christ.
Which is why Paul calls Euodia and Syntyche to agree in the Lord. The King James Version says that Euodia and Syntyche should be of the same mind in the Lord or the NASB says they should live in harmony in the Lord.
Their mutual faith in Christ should bring them together and give them a oneness of purpose. They need to agree in the Lord.
Y’all know that I have thoughts and opinions on lots of things and one of my opinions is that the phrase ‘church unity’ has been co-opted to mean ‘church uniformity’ or worse, ‘church conformity.’ I’ve seen ‘church unity’ become a bludgeon to beat church members into submission.
For all we know, Euodia and Syntyche’s disagreement may have been entirely legitimate. Maybe Euodia never returned Syntyche’s crockpot to her after a church potluck. We’ll never know.
But one of the more interesting things about this particular passage is that Paul never denies their disagreement. He never says y’all are being ridiculous! Y’all need to get over this!
Nor does he appeal to his apostolic authority and demand that they stop arguing because it’s disrupting the church - even though they were disrupting the church! After all, their disagreement made it into his letter! He doesn’t even appeal to church unity even though that’s exactly what he’s striving for.
Paul’s plea to Euodia and Syntyche is that their disagreement would take a back seat to their common faith in Jesus Christ and that they would remember that the thing in which they agree upon is far more important than the thing that they disagree on.
That’s true church unity! Church unity doesn’t deny the existence of differences among people in the church. Church unity is not uniformity or conformity. True church unity exists when everyone understands that differences of opinion and petty disagreements are inferior to a common faith and mission found in Jesus Christ.
Church unity is at its best when brothers and sisters in Christ love and respect each other knowing full-well, they don’t see eye to eye on everything. Love covers a multitude of sins, amen?
That’s what Paul is calling Euodia and Syntyche to do! Agree in the Lord!
Pursue joy and gentleness (vv. 4-5)
Because when you stop and look around, you’ll quickly realize that you have so much not only to be thankful for, but as Paul says, to rejoice over.
Maybe you noticed this, but Paul moves on from speaking directly to Euodia and Syntyche in verses 2-3 to talking more generally to the church, and he commands them to rejoice. “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”
On the surface it seems like it would be a tough thing to command. If I was to say, “Be happy, again, I will say, be happy,” I’d get what I’m getting right now… a lot of expressionless blank stares.
Not that long ago, I read about an Oklahoma couple who helped eliminate $41 million dollars of medical debt in Tulsa. And to make the feat even more impressive, they did it in 2020, right in the middle of the Covid pandemic.
Now just imagine you live in Tulsa, Oklahoma and you’re at home recovering from some major medical surgery that your insurance didn’t cover, when suddenly you get a phone call that some strangers have paid off all your medical debt!
How would you react? I bet you would rejoice.
Isn’t that exactly what Paul is calling the church to? Just as those who had their medical debt cancelled certainly rejoiced, each of us who have had the debt of our sin paid for on the cross by Jesus Christ – we always have a reason to rejoice!
We always have a reason to rejoice in the Lord. The church should not be known as a place of perpetual conflict, but rather, it should be known as a place of great joy.
Your debt has been forgiven! Christians shouldn’t be focused on all their personal differences, but instead should focus on what Christ has done. Faith in Christ has a unique way of putting everything in perspective. In the shadow of the cross personal differences seem incredibly small don’t they? And that’s precisely the point!
If the finished work of Christ permeates your own life and the way you view others, it will inevitably impact how you relate to others as well.
Paul tells the church in Philippi to “let [their] reasonableness be known to everyone.” The word for reasonableness can also be translated to mean, “gentleness.”
In other words, hostility should not be how we relate or treat one another, but rather Christians should be known for their forbearance, geniality, kindness, charitableness, or generosity in their interactions with one another.
As one commentator put it, Christians should reason “that it is far better to suffer wrong than to inflict wrong. And of course, this is absolutely true for how we interact with fellow believers, but it should characterize how we interact with non-Christians as well.
This is not only the key to dealing with conflict in the church, but it’s frankly key to how you and I live a life of happiness. Fundamentally, our happiness is detached from our present circumstances. Our happiness is rooted in Jesus Christ which should overflow into every avenue of our lives.
Keep in mind that Paul commands the Christians in Philippi to rejoice always as he sits in chains. Joy is one of the main themes of the book of Philippians which is ironic in many ways because Paul wrote Philippians as he sat in chains! He was in prison. But one day, when you’re with the Lord - everything will be made right. Whether that means he comes again or you meet with him in glory the Lord is at hand.
For non-Christian the fact that the Lord is at hand should be a fearful thought, but for the Christian it should bring you great peace.
And so there is nothing to fear, and even in those moments when fear and worry creep into our hearts and minds Paul famously reminds us to, “...not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
The truth is that we shouldn’t be consumed with worry, but the reality is, there are things that make us anxious. But Paul gives a Biblical prescription for the inevitable bouts of worry, fear, and anxiety: prayer.
How do you deal with the things that make you anxious? If you’re anything like me, you try to solve it. If an issue is giving me anxiety then I try to take the necessary steps to resolve it. But here’s the thing - even if I am able to resolve whatever I’m worried about - another situation arises. I may fix the problem but I’ve never fixed the worry, fear, and anxiety.
Paul tells us that the answer is prayer. Is Paul saying that if you pray when you’re feeling anxious that everything is going to work out exactly the way you want it to? Of course, not.
Paul prescribes prayer as the antidote for anxiety because anxiety at its root is fear over a lack of control. Isn’t that the primary issue? Anxiety especially seems to strike the hardest in situations that you have no control over. So we worry because we don’t know if things will turn out the way we want them to.
How does prayer solve any of this? Prayer by definition is acknowledging your insufficiency and helplessness.
The Westminster Shorter Catechism defines prayer as “an offering up of our desires unto God, for things agreeable to his will, in the name of Christ, with confession of our sins, and thankful acknowledgment of his mercies.”
Did you catch that? Prayer is an offering up of your desires unto God…
Spending time in prayer is time spent recognizing God’s complete sovereignty and our complete dependence on him.
If you struggle with anxiety, have you ever even considered spending more time in prayer? Have you ever genuinely thought about that? If you regularly struggle with anxiety try to spend fifteen minutes in prayer every single day. What do you have to lose? Spending more time in prayer seems like a good new year’s resolution.
Martin Luther famously said, “I have so much business I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer.” This is also the same Martin Luther who lamented his own prayerlessness by the way.
Paul says that peace will be the result in verse 7: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
The more time you spend in prayer the more contentment and peace you’ll discover because you’ll more readily confess to the Lord - thy will be done.
Focus on the true, lovely, and excellent (vv. 6-9)
Rather than spending our time being annoyed with others or dwelling on problems that are out of our control - we should spend more time on the things that please God.
Paul gives us that glorious list of virtues in verse 8.
“8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Of course, the list that Paul gives in verse 8 isn’t exhaustive. He’s speaking in general terms. But this list of virtues reflects the character of Jesus Christ doesn’t it? Is that not exactly what he did?
But his point is simple isn’t it? Don’t dwell on petty disagreements or spend all your time worrying about things that are out of your control - instead spend more of your time and effort on the things that will honor God. We should spend more of our time thinking about these things.
But of course, these God-honoring virtues that we should spend time reflecting on, shouldn’t just stay in our heads.
Have you ever heard someone refer to another Christian as so “heavenly minded, they’re no earthly good?” It’s used negatively to describe people who spend all their time with their head in the clouds reflecting on the Bible, theology, or the Christian life. And the implication is that it isn’t a good use of their time. They should be spending time helping the poor or evangelizing the lost or something like that.
But the truth is, any person who is heavenly minded is of great earthly good.
Because as Paul tells us in verse 9 heavenly virtues shouldn’t be philosophical thoughts, but rather they should make their way into our lives: “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
The things that Paul has taught the Philippians, including this list of virtues is meant to be practiced.
As we come to the end of our time in Philippians 4:2-9, we need to remember that we don’t resolve discord by winning arguments or proving a point, but by standing united in Jesus Christ.
He also reminds us to rejoice always, even in the midst of tension. This isn’t an avoidance of problems, but a shift in perspective. Rejoicing in the Lord reorients our hearts toward gratitude, reminding us of God’s grace. And when we bring our anxieties to him in prayer - he gives us his peace that passes all understanding.
Paul even leaves us with a practical roadmap for dealing with discord: think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and praiseworthy. These aren’t just lofty ideals; they are tools for navigating conflict. When we focus on what reflects the character of Christ, it becomes much harder for bitterness, resentment, or division to take root in our hearts.
These are the “all of these things” that Jesus talked about in Matthew 6. “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’... 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
When you and I find our ultimate purpose in living and serving Jesus Christ the natural result is the church will experience unity, joy, prayerfulness, and virtue will naturally follow. The church flourishes when we desire more than anything to live for him. Amen.
Let’s pray together.
